new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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