halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
