my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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