this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
