it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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