Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
