Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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