Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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