what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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