Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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