How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
