Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
