We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
