You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
