Bisexual people are plain selfish.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
