I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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