STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
