how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
