How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
