Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
