There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
