I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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