Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
