I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
do nipples grow back?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
