Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize