lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
