He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
