perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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