Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
