I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
