What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We don't watch enough power rangers
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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