You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
