matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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