my mouth tastes like poor choices
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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