no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
