ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
