My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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