So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize