Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and she was petting her beer can
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The air was thick with penises
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
