Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
