a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
