we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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