Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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