but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
