He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
