What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
