Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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