Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
