so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize