hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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