I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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