forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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