I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Even my vagina gasped.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
