summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
