I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
