A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
