i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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