As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
