i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
