I need help removing her.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
