I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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