I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
